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I'm Still Having Nightmares [Dec. 3rd, 2017|12:25 am]
[Feelin' |sadsad]
[Spinnin' |Nightmares - All Time Low]

Nights... when you got yourself ready for bed, teeth and hair brushed, ready for sleep

Nights... when you tucked yourself into bed, pulled your covers up, ready to escape the world

Nights... when you had high school to face the next day

Nights... when all you wanted was to say goodnight to mom and dad and sleep

Nights... when you should have been sleeping...

Nights... when you were ripped from sleep to hear yelling and screaming

Nights... when your sister stumbled through the house

Nights... when you cowered in your room, scared

Nights... when you realized your idol... was no idol at all

Nights... when the person you looked up to let you down... again, and again

Nights... when you lay awake, and decided...

Nights... when you decided your sister... was not your sister

Nights... when you laid awake thinking... and realised you loath her

Nights... when I realised... It's over.

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Why The Fuck Am I Falling Apart [Mar. 12th, 2017|09:49 pm]
[Feelin' |angryangry]
[Spinnin' |Hold On Till May - Pierce The Veil]

If you don't trust someone, it's impossible to get hurt by them in the first place. The words, the lies, and the emotions that they hide inside mean nothing. To them, maybe someone other than you means something, although the same affection is not always returned. Is it an emotionless love.... Maybe even... Lust? Whatever it was, it was only a pain killer for the moment.

Please, I beg you, take away my pain. Kill it for me. Turn it completely inside out, and extinguish it. Do with it what you must, but please... Take it away. Can you destroy it? Can you kill it for me? I'm so dirty, I could never be clean. All I am is dirt, not worth anything more, and no mater how hard I try, the filth won't leave my skin. I will always be dirt.

It only hurts to breathe, and it always hurts to cry. I'm so empty inside.

I'm my death, I'm my tears, I am my becoming of an endless spiral down...
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Let's Go To The Beach, Each, Let's Go Get A Wave [May. 21st, 2016|11:13 pm]
[Feelin' |sleepysleepy]

I did not end up going for coffee with him today. I decided against it. I just feel like the whole thing is a bad idea. I'm not going to let myself be sucked in again by him like before. The other night just proved that he hasn't changed. He's still the same selfish, manipulative, immature boy he was three years ago. And I don't need that in my life again. I know it would just end up the same way it did before. So I'm going to save myself the grief and just stop it before it has a chance to go anywhere else.

Anyway, I did go to the beach today for the first time this year. It was great. I went with my friend/coworker, and we basically just hungout, burying our feet in the sand, and chatting. We tried going in the water, but it was way cold still. Which makes sense, considering its still only May. It was thirty degrees outside though, so it was nice to just sit on the beach. It was packed though. Lots of families with young children, that it would seem were much braver than my friend and I, as pretty much all of them were splashing around in the water. We did go in up to our knees though! All in all, I had lots of fun.

Now I'm watching National Treasure with my mom. Well, I'm watching it, I'm pretty sure she's fallen asleep. I just love Nicholas Cage. I don't even care what anyone else says. Although, he did suck in The Wicker Man. Mind you, that whole movie was kind of just awful, bahaha.

OH! And my roommate got a puppy!! He's adorable. His name is Harley, and he's so cute. He's a rotteweiler boxer mix, so although he's small now, he's going to get big. And fast. I've always been more of a cat person, but I do love dogs as well.

Delilah and Ruby are adjusting not too badly. Delilah pretty much just stays downstairs all the time now, and Ruby... Ruby is jealous. She hasn't been getting as much attention from Bri now that she has Harley, so she's been coming to me now for the snuggles she's not getting from Bri. Which I am totally okay with. I have no problem giving her all the snuggles she wants!

And, just on a side note... Is she not the cutest thing ever?

DelilahCollapse )

Goodnight! xoxo
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(no subject) [Feb. 2nd, 2016|09:10 pm]

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